Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Behind Parental Alienation

Behind Parental Alienation

02/13/2017 06:59 pm ET
image source dreamstime
There are many parents and children suffering from Parental Alienation. It’s tragic. I know this because my youtube video on the subject has an excessive number of responses...too many people are relating to this issue.
Today, let’s take a look at what’s going on behind the scenes. What motivates the alienator to abuse their children by disapproving of their relationship with the target parent? Hint: Narcissism and PAS are often found in the same scenario...but not always.
PAS is one of the narcissist’s favorite strategies to take control of the children during divorce. Many of the narcissist’s actions are based on fear, insecurity and past trauma. Parental Alienation is no different. Unfortunately, the person they are attempting to pay back (their ex) is not technically the one who ends up damaged. Hurt? Yes, it hurts like hell to be on the receiving end of such bitter and unnecessary disregard. Damaged? No, we aren’t the ones who end up damaged.
The real victims are the children.



http://erasingfamily.org/
https://www.facebook.com/ErasingFamily/?hc_ref=NEWSFEED&fref=nf

Dr. Miller knows you are the psycho parent seeking sole custody

Legal disputes involving the care and custody of minor children
Task force study public hearing (2014 transcript)




esq: dr. miller did you submit your written testimony?

dr. steven miller: yes i did
well my name is steven miller, i'm a physician in massachussets. i have a special interest in clinical reasoning and medical decision making which in the past 10 or 20 years has been extended into how mental health professionals reason and make decisions, and also extended into the issue of alienation and estrangement. so i think i'm here in part today because i counsel parents also because i wrote a chapter of a book which i will read you, i don't make a penny off this, working with children and families a clinical guide book and my chapter is on reasoning and decision making. in cases of either strong child alignment including severe alienation or severe estrangement. i'm a medical educator. i've directed several hundred courses for contuniing education on clinical reasoning, and i hope in the short time i'm here i can take a 2 day course and condense it into 3 minutes and maybe shed a little light on how these cases go wrong. siting here listening to the other cases, it's clear there's an epidemic. the afcc 4 years ago held a several day conference, international conference devoted exclusively to parental alienation. so when national organizations are devoting several days to have speakers from numerous countries come in an speak about it. you can be sure it's a serious problem. so getting more specific, if there was time i would comment some of the good things that previous witnesses commented about but also a couple of logical fallacies i heard and a couple of inaccuracies including the idea that parental alienation syndrome, and i never use the word syndrome, but including the idea that it's invalid or that it has been discredited, i'm an evidence based medicine expert, that is untenable. it is unequivocably a phenomenon called it whatever you like. so i mean that in a constructive way. i believe it's a syndrome, i just don't use the term to avoid the controversy. i also think what i'd hope to do is bring a scientific view here as some other people have done. i think it's important to distinguish between science and a belief system. one of the previous witnesses expressed the view that co-parenting has never been shown to be better than having individual custody. that's a logical fallacy, it's called an argument from ignorance. she made 2 other logical fallacies in a period of 3 minutes, and i don't mean that as a criticism. these are very common misconceptions. and finally i'll introduce this if i may steal another minute or two. i'm asked all the time, how could this happen? we have the best psychologist i know. guardian ad litem… and the answer is we have a complex medical situation and there's been no medical input. and i don't mean to imply that you need a psychiatrist, what you need is a sub specialist in alienation and estrangement who see this all of the time. not the best psychologist in the world who rarely sees it. and so very briefly, the short answer to this question, how does this happen? is this field is highly counter intuitive to anyone who doesn't have extensive training and experience dealing with it. they, most people will usually get it wrong. when i say people i mean attorneys, psychologists, other mental health experts. the majority of the time they will not only get the case and the evaluation and recommendation wrong. they will get it exactly backwards… (times up)

question from co-chair sharon wicks dornfeld… what can be done about it?

… i think there's a problem with credentials (evaluators, investigators) … but my perspective is that there's a lack of expertise here, even the well intentioned people who want to do the right thing, are way over their heads, senior forensic psychologists, way over their heads in this type of a situation...
7:00



fundamental attribution error 17:40
an attribution error mean that you look at some behavior and you assign what you think is the cause for it… the reason it is calle the fund attar error… we are hard wired to make it…. it is hard to override it.  you confuse something that is situational for something that is characterlogical dispositional. in an alienation case. the alienating parent… with .99 certainty has a severe personality disorder. they are either borderline, sociopath, a narcissist, or all three… a mistake that almost everyone will make.. if you see an angry man, you think it's his character, in general, he is an angry man. never mind that the reason that he is angry that someone just stole his car or wallet.  we're hardwired to stay away from that guy. so if the anger is situational then it's an error.  the relevance to us, is when an interviewer sees a severe case of alienation, the alienating parent is cool calm and collected. he or she is probably a borderline sociopath or narcissist or all three, and is a master manipulator, has learned to convincingly mimic normal behavior and presents very well.  saying, oh yes i encourage the childs relationship with his father or his mother.  by contrast the targeted parent has ptsd, has not seen the child in god knows how long, maybe years, has been told he's the one who's the problem and comes in all intense, all angry, and stressed out.
you have to ask how severe is this?  what is the parent's capacity to co-parent. if you are dealing with an extreme right sided continuum where you have a severe obsessed alienator, the kids are severely alienated… you want to maintain contact, but you must reverse custody. i don't know any expert that believes that you can treat that while they still live with the alienating parent. but that is a minority of the cases. in most cases, you are dealing with more middle of the road situation, i think the court has to step in and enforce the parenting plan, and have consequences when it's violated. and you're doing the child a favor…  just to conclude this, what experts don't understand is in severe cases, reunification therapy never ever works. it is a fool's errand. there is no recorded case ever in the literature of anyone taking a severe alienator, i'm talking mom hasn't seen the child in three years, dad is not going to change. and you have to recognize that is what you are dealing with. but once you recognize that's what you are dealing with, most judges don't want to reverse custody, i get it, i wouldn't want to either. so once you are really sure this is what you are dealing with, then the appropriate thing is to reverse custody. there are 2 programs in the country, i should say north america… there are 2 places, one in canada run by kathleen ray and another in texas run by richard roushack, give them four day with the kid, and the kid returns to the rejected parent, happy as a clam to have been reunited, but they require a change in custody and no contact with the alienating parent for 90 days. other than that there is no hope for a severe case. don't even think of doing it with office therapy…

question from jennifer verraneault
…there's a lot of money being made on behalf of this industry that is thinking that you're going to be able to reunify the children with the alienated parent. the court system they don't even know about all of this stuff, and they're doing this, and there's mental health professionals who are naive to think that they can do it. they can't. so, what's the solution? 27:10


reverse custody


Judge Bruno CHAN
Principal Family Court Judge
Judge Justin KO
Acting Chief District Judge
Judge Sharon D MELLOY
Family Court Judge
Judge C K CHAN
Family Court Judge
Mr LI Chi-keung, Ben
Legal Aid Department
Mr FUNG Man-chung
Social Welfare Department
Ms Jacqueline LEONG, SC
Ms Corinne REMEDIOS
Mr Jonathan MOK
Mr Dennis HO
Ms Jain BROWN
Mr NG Sek-hon
Deputy Judiciary Administrator (Operations)
Ms Jackie LUI
Chief Judicial Clerk (Family Court)
Ms Betty CHAN
Chief Judiciary Executive (Operations)
(up to 7.9.2015)
Ms Winifred CHAN
Chief Judiciary Executive (Operations) 
(w.e.f. 8.9.2015)


(search engine tags - linda gottlieb, parental alienation, alienator, joint parental responsibility model, hong kong child custody,  judge sharon melloy,  judge bruno , sole custody, hk law reform, family law, lynette levy bandeira, ms. lam, child custody and access on 7 March 2005, HKLRC Report, international child abduction, court fraud)

The Zero Sum Game Of Parental Alienation



This is the time of year when families draw together, but some parents don’t get to experience that, despite longing for it fiercely. I’ve written before about parental alienation, about the pain and suffering endured by parents whose children have been alienated from them through the other parent’s tactics, usually in a high conflict divorce.
Since my initial posting, more media attention has shed light on this devastating phenomenon. Jennifer Harman, a researching social psychologist, associate professor of psychology at Colorado State University, and co-author of Parents Acting Badly (Harman, Jennifer Jill., and Zeynep Biringnen. Parents Acting Badly: How Institutions and Societies Promote the Alienation of Children from Their Loving Families. San Bernardino, CA: CreateSpace, 2016.), gave a terrific TEDx Talk about parental alienation, highlighting it as a domestic abuse and social justice issue.



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/traci-l-slatton/the-zero-sum-game-of-pare_b_13870724.html






Judge Bruno CHAN
Principal Family Court Judge
Judge Justin KO
Acting Chief District Judge
Judge Sharon D MELLOY
Family Court Judge
Judge C K CHAN
Family Court Judge
Mr LI Chi-keung, Ben
Legal Aid Department
Mr FUNG Man-chung
Social Welfare Department
Ms Jacqueline LEONG, SC
Ms Corinne REMEDIOS
Mr Jonathan MOK
Mr Dennis HO
Ms Jain BROWN
Mr NG Sek-hon
Deputy Judiciary Administrator (Operations)
Ms Jackie LUI
Chief Judicial Clerk (Family Court)
Ms Betty CHAN
Chief Judiciary Executive (Operations)
(up to 7.9.2015)
Ms Winifred CHAN
Chief Judiciary Executive (Operations)
(w.e.f. 8.9.2015)

Friday, February 10, 2017

Revisiting Visitation Rights

Revisiting Visitation Rights

 
 
For juridical delicacy, arguably few matters match child custody, and just last year, Missouri’s lawmakers acted to clarify and refine procedures involving that hot-button topic by passing House Bill No. 1550, generally known as just HB 1550.
One problem. As in most legislation, legalese shrouds the nuances and niceties of HB 1550.
Happily, two local experts on legal language express guarded optimism about HB 1550, which Missouri’s 98th General Assembly passed last spring. Former Gov. Jeremiah “Jay” Nixon subsequently signed it into law, and it went into effect this past August.
The first such expert, Dr. Christine E. Rollins, serves as a professor in the Saint Louis University School of Law and directs the Legal Research and Writing Program there.
Rollins first provides background on custody and visitation in general, regarding what legal professionals refer to as “the best interests of the child standard.”
“When I teach class, I tell my students that the best interests of the child standard is like stew,” Rollins says cheerily. “Your stew, your mom’s stew, my stew might all look different. You might put barley in it. I might put potatoes. But when you look at the pot, you say, ‘It’s stew.’
“Because whatever is pertinent, whatever is meaningful to that particular child or children, husband, wife, father, mother, in any single case, is going to be taken into account by the court. The guidelines listed in the laws in Missouri are categories of information that a court should, could, may, take into account, but they are not an exclusive or inclusive absolute list of things that the court should take into account.”
That said, at least one nonprofit has been lobbying for a better ingredients list on Rollins’ figurative stew.
The National Parents Organization – a charitable and educational 501(c)(3) entity focused on “promoting shared parenting, where both parents have equal standing raising children after a separation or divorce” to foster such children’s emotional, mental and physical health, according to its website – has been pushing aggressively for shared-parenting refinements like those enacted by HB 1550.
Last May, for instance, that nonprofit ran an op-ed piece in the Columbia Daily Tribune that scathingly denounced “Missouri’s broken family court system.”
Ironically in light of that denunciation, Rollins’ legal stew has long included an ingredient of potential value to dyspeptic parents, notes the second local expert on legal language, Dr. Joseph A. Cernik.
Cernik, a professor of political science and public administration at Lindenwood University in St. Charles, not only chairs the Department of Public Affairs and Administration there but also edits the Missouri Policy Journal, a semiannual publication “focused on issues relevant to Missouri policymakers as well as the public interested with the complexities associated with policymaking,” according to its website.
Specifically, Cernik cites Missouri’s Motion for Family Access Order.
“When you go through the existing law information contrasting it with HB 1550, I believe the key difference is these words in the law: ‘A family access motion does not require the assistance of legal counsel to prepare and file,’” he says.
“This a slight difference. The law, prior to HB 1550, said an attorney can be involved – not ‘required’ or ‘needed.’ Probably there have been parents who felt that, in the past, they had to use an attorney to help them get access to their child or children, and financially, they could not afford to do that. Here, it’s clear no attorney assistance is needed.
“Now, what I’m always wondering about is, just because this tends to help those who cannot afford an attorney, whether this slight change will be publicized well enough to actually make a difference.
“My guess is that any real impact would have to come in a court case where an aggrieved party says they did not know about this, and they thought they needed an attorney to gain access to their child or children. In other words, the competency of one’s divorce attorney can be challenged.”
Regarding the Motion for Family Access Order, Cernik adds: “Court rules allow a lawyer to help a party with certain specific tasks without handling the entire case for a party. This is called limited scope representation. A lawyer providing limited representation will usually charge a fixed fee or charge by the hour.
“So, a small change, but one that might help a few parents who in the past have felt deterred from doing anything because they, automatically, assumed they were going to pay attorney fees.”
Beyond foregrounding information in HB 1550 that might not have been emphasized as prominently in the legal content the new bill replaces, Rollins expands somewhat on other nuances of that piece of legislation, especially with regard to accountability.
“Some of the language change in the bill talks more specifically about things that should not exclude a parent from having access to their child,” she says. “The underlying standard that Missouri law uses is that a child should have meaningful, open, ongoing, consistent – there’s a lot of adjectives used – contact with both parents. Unless the court finds that a reason will keep a parent and child apart.
“We start with that joint-access concept. And part of the law says if you’re going to restrict it, the trial court needs to tell the parties why they are restricting access. So part of this is very procedural in nature.
“The appellate courts want the trial courts to spell out for the mother and the father why they’re getting what they’re getting or, more importantly, why they’re not getting what they are getting.”
At first glance, HB 1550 apparently includes language that, to a nonprofessional eye, sanctions shared custody for a parent accused of domestic violence, a matter Rollins also addresses.
“I very much am in strong support of domestic-violence rules and laws and orders of protection,” she says. “However, sometimes the parties use accusations of domestic violence as weapons. And in fact, parties may consent to what’s called a consent decree – ‘I’ll stay away from you; you stay away from me. I won’t harass you; you won’t harass me.’ But in reality, what they’ve said is ‘I’ve committed domestic violence against you, and I promise not to do it again.’”
Under HB 1550, such a decree, which previously might have led either to supervised visitation or to no visitation whatsoever, doesn’t serve as an absolute bar.
“The legislation, I think, is saying, ‘No, that’s not an absolute preclusion,’” Rollins continues. “And the court has to do the next step of figuring out what kind of abuse was it, did it affect the child, how would it affect the child? And it’s still OK, court, if you look at the entire situation and you find that it’s in the best interests of the child to have access to that parent, then you’re not going to get in trouble, by the appellate court or somebody else, by granting access to that child.
“And later language in the statute absolutely spells out that they are 100 percent making a determination if custody/visitation is safe for the child, it’s in the best interests of the child. And then they have to spell it out to the parties in the decree.”
Like Cernik, Rollins otherwise guardedly praises the fact that HB 1550 better brings to the fore the family access motion.
“I think any time you can educate people about their legal self-remedies, it really helps the process,” she says. “It keeps everybody accountable for what’s going on. Family access motions are available to persons to be able to alert the court if the visitation schedule is being thwarted, without the need for hiring an attorney.
“And I think that’s just a show of the times. Because we have more families – the divorce rate is about 50 percent – we have more families that are dealing with child support and aging children who are going to vocational school or going to community college or four-year colleges and how that support is supposed to be working out.”
Cernik otherwise offers a suggestion for lay readers approaching legal documents in general, not just HB 1550 in specific.
“In looking at a lot of these new laws as they come along, you might want to see if at the end of them there is written reference to rulemaking,” he says. “Rules – in other words, interpretations – come later on to address vague, confusing, contradictory laws. Laws seem clear but usually are not, and the rules are the means to interpret a law and give it some clarity.
“When I’m reading laws or bills proposed as laws, I look to see which federal or state agency has been assigned rulemaking capability; it’s usually written in the bill or law. If I don’t see reference to rulemaking, I assume that the assumption is that court cases are expected at some point to give clarity to laws. This is similar to U.S. Supreme Court cases.”
For those tempted to think such complications cluster only in lesser legal documents, Cernik continues by citing one of the nation’s fundamental texts.
“The Constitution, for example, is filled with lots of vague stuff, and we really rely on the opinions from court cases to provide some clarity to oftentimes incredibly vaguely written words,” he says.
“I know that never comes across clearly on TV-news shows because it’s too complicated to take the time to explain. If I say, ‘Article 1, Section 8, Clause 18 as understood from the court case of … ,’ well, you’ll never see me on TV again because I just confused the audience with what is closer to what really happens.”
Cernik concludes pragmatically that his commentary constitutes “just some guidance in struggling through future bills and laws. I don’t think it ever gets easier.”

http://www.laduenews.com/business/features/revisiting-visitation-rights/article_1c642130-a66b-509b-8e57-1930b46e2e3f.html